I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Randomize
