i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
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you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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