Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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