how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
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what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
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All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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