I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize