i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
