i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
