I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize
