Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
