How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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