Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
