Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Everyone says I win the strip club
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize