Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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