I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
