I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
