oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
