For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
