She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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