well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
