I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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