also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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