my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
