Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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