i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
