And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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