I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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