She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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