We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
