why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
