Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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