goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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