dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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