If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Randomize
