in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize