i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
