Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
