**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
