He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
