Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
