Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
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Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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