Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
