you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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