He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just invented taco cereal.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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