Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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