I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
