So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
