Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.