I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize