We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
