This girl is more easily done than said...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
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You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
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I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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