im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
