do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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