Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
