For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
