We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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