You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Help me help you realize you are a moron
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
