It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
