I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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