Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
