from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Rumble strips road head = magical
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
A bitchslap is in order.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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