hotel room ftw
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
