uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
